Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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