Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
