I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You are a genius and a whore.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
