i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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