I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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