booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize