Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
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I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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