Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
