I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
