This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
