Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
