i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
