I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
