just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize