I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
