i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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