I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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