Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize