I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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