Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
