so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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