Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
