Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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