I think I died a long time ago.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
