Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
