i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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