Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
