...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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