hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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