I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize