So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Damn victory sex feels great
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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