we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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