so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize