I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize