CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
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is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
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True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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