Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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