so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
