There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
