Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize