You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize