It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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