Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
