So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
