Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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