Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
