what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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