I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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