my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
