I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What changed your mind?
Being sober
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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