hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
