Whod you bang
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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