Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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