i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
