I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
