Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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