Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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